I Want To Be Uncle Ted!

One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home
and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story.
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer
to tell a story. Suzy said, "Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the
truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday
we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the
road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies,
"Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."

Next is little Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we
take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only
8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane
was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with
only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he
drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of
100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun but ran out of
bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on
his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands".
The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any
moral to his story. Billy replies, "Don't mess with uncle Ted when he's been drinking."

You may ask, what this long joke has to do with this blog? Not much you may think? Well, you're wrong. Uncle Ted is my hero. He fuck's with little kids and is not a priest; he also is a drunkard, which if you push the boundaries of the dictionary not so far could incorporate me too. When I grow up, I want to be just like Uncle Ted!

Now all I need to do is change my name to Ted, as since September the 11th, the fifth year anniversary of little Jimmy who turned five, oh and two big buildings falling, I am officially an uncle. Yep, my sister Candice and her lovely hubby Mr. J had their first born, a bouncy baby boy in the red corner of the super super feather weight division weighing in at 3.4kg. Here's a picture of mum and baby Bailey Ashton Lewin (this is before the ol' snip snip, he doesn't crawl around with a smile on his face anymore...):
And here's a picture of my mum and baby Bailey Ashton:

Anyway. I am just looking forward to the day baby John Doe is old enough to understand knock knock jokes, is ready to build his first slignshot, and when he is old enough for Uncle Bozza to give him his first joint. Ahh, the joys of being THAT uncle; the irresponsible outlandish uncle that parents hate and nephews/nieces love. Yes, my role in life is coming to a climax.

And other events...
Last week I was brainwashed. It was an exciting time held by all. And afterwards, I got a certificate and ended up drunk in a pool. Not significantly different to any other week really..

And before that Emma and I went to a forum theatre thing where elite Colombo singhalese people perform and show that they are against the conflict and segregation of their community. I may sound cynical, because I am, but it was a good night actually. Some really good actors..

On Saturday Night, Emma and I went to an 80's party. I went as someone living 26 years in the future, and Emma want as an 80's drugged out rock chick with track marks up her arm, green and silver punkish hair, flourescent t-shirt with ripped black top over it, and tight black jeans. We danced to Michael Jackson wearing one glove, and I danced to futuristic music that hadn't been released. This was a going away party for all the Australian Youth Ambassadors who are in their final month or so here. Here's some happy snaps of the evening!

OH MY GOD!!! A Ball! A Boon! A Ballabaloon!

The two punk rockers of the eveninng.. wow the 80's were sexy!
Is it MJ? Is it Gareth? Who knows!

And yes of course, no evening is complete without LIMBO! Amy won the event, and this photo shows why.. she could limbo while holding a plastic cup full of booze!! Two thumbs up from me!
Awww.. and here's AYAD Intake 14 (what's left). From R2L: Mingers, Nic, Jaqs, Gar Man, Embo, Amyz, and Lauren.

Finally, Emma is planning her overseas trip to India, and I'm planning to take advantage of my personal time by becoming a member of Belagio's Casino. Now all I need to do is retrace my previous druknen steps and try to find it again..

Peace, Love, and Dodgey Uncles With Too Much Time,

B.