Forget the chicken darling, it's turkey hunting season!
Gone are the days when classic sayings like those were part of the average Jo Blow's lexicon.. now we rely on watching Homer Simpson go kung-fu master in snake whacking season. Ahh, to be canadian with a little c would be Grande with a big G. But I have a gripe to air. And it's to do with war, tourism, and silly telephone operators.
WARNING: If you don't like longwinded stories with no plot or ending, then skip this and just go look at the photos.. or delete this page from your bookmarks as it's doubtful it will ever improve.
For those humanitarian workers in Sri Lanka, I'm sure you have seen that there is a noticable decline in the number of tourists - on any given weekend, you can attend your favourite beach resort and not have the "traumas" of other people invading your space. No families with kids running around. No grandparents remembering the time of when they were the colonial masters. And rarely any backpackers - maybe the odd few that have been living in Ashrams in India for six months or more and have not read any newspaper to realise that heck, there's a war going on. Despite all of the noticeable differences in tourist numbers from this year to last, the official statistics show that tourism is up 10,000 odd people from 2005 to total 550,000 in 2006. But somehow, someone forgot to tell the tourist operators this. Or the bastards in the hotels are lying to me and trying to screw me for more money.. either way. So what went wrong with the numbers?
Well, this is not a political statement as much as an econometric exercise. You see, 2005 sucked for tourism because a huge wave came and thwacked the place in 2004, right? So poor baseline information. Tsk Tsk. And are the 2006 tourists REALLY tourists? Of course not. Most of them are Indian rebel fighters claiming to be tourists while secretly trying to reclaim the motherland while the other half are 'volunteers' in the North and East that can't get working permits...
So what's my point? I don't know if I have one or ever did.. I'm just peeved that there aren't enough wealth ladened western tourists to overpay Tuk Tuk drivers and so they're all hassling me.. meanwhile, I call the Maldives to try and book some acommodation, and one person says "2007 or 2008?" and another THREE hotels 'politely request me to call back in 10 minutes as the reservation line is full'. Surely, the millions and billions of dollars lost in foreign exchange and jobs and livelihoods is worth more than a hilly piece of dirt?
ENOUGH ALREADY!
Alright alright. It's after 5pm on Friday and I am still at work belting out jibberish. So I'm just going to post a few photos (some from this week, some from Europe that didn't make it before).
This is New Years Day in London.. proof that I did see the happy couple Joel and Katie on their honeymoon (while the girl on the second left is Katie, the honeymooning Katie is the one holding the camera - you think you're confused? I went to uni with them!)
Driving along, and what do we see? Oh yeah look, there's Stonehenge. The one on the right? Nelson.
Boxing Day 2006, and Embo and I are off to see (Wigan Ath)Latics play against Manchester United at Old Trafford in front of a HUGE 76,000 people. Awesome. And the best part? They have massive hot dogs!
Roooney ya fat bastard.. make a run to the box!
This is what old trafford looks like at capacity!
There's nothing better than telling a story through the art of hotdog pornography... the footlong hotdog will always have its place as long as KY Jelly and Ansell are still in business .
After stuffing a big twelve incher down ya gob, there's nothing more masculine than being on site with oversized Tonka Trucks! Bigger Bigger! Flatter Flatter! WE NEED MORE COMPACING SCOTTY! FASTER Pathamananthanana Wickramamasingh!
Nimal is a dude. I spend a lot of time in the car from site to site, and Nimal is my #1 Driver. After six months, he has finally stopped asking me about the price of things in Australia followed by a shock "Shahh!". He is also the most informed Sri Lankan on Aboriginal rights... as skewed as that might be.
Okay, so on the weekend I attended a meeting with a commnuity we are constructing a potable water supply system.. The meeting was in Sinhala and my normal translator was sick with Chickungunya (Yes, that's the name of a real disease.. kind of like Dengue but not deadly, and the name means "Bends over" in Swahili, because when you get it you are in such pain you bend over). So while everyone else chatted about important things that I rarely got the insight into, I decided to go to the playground and hang out with some kiddies. Nothing tells a story better than a) a crying baby or b) a smiling mini adult.
And another thing....
Peace, Love, and F#$%ING B@!$#$%*T STATISTICS!
B.
WARNING: If you don't like longwinded stories with no plot or ending, then skip this and just go look at the photos.. or delete this page from your bookmarks as it's doubtful it will ever improve.
For those humanitarian workers in Sri Lanka, I'm sure you have seen that there is a noticable decline in the number of tourists - on any given weekend, you can attend your favourite beach resort and not have the "traumas" of other people invading your space. No families with kids running around. No grandparents remembering the time of when they were the colonial masters. And rarely any backpackers - maybe the odd few that have been living in Ashrams in India for six months or more and have not read any newspaper to realise that heck, there's a war going on. Despite all of the noticeable differences in tourist numbers from this year to last, the official statistics show that tourism is up 10,000 odd people from 2005 to total 550,000 in 2006. But somehow, someone forgot to tell the tourist operators this. Or the bastards in the hotels are lying to me and trying to screw me for more money.. either way. So what went wrong with the numbers?
Well, this is not a political statement as much as an econometric exercise. You see, 2005 sucked for tourism because a huge wave came and thwacked the place in 2004, right? So poor baseline information. Tsk Tsk. And are the 2006 tourists REALLY tourists? Of course not. Most of them are Indian rebel fighters claiming to be tourists while secretly trying to reclaim the motherland while the other half are 'volunteers' in the North and East that can't get working permits...
So what's my point? I don't know if I have one or ever did.. I'm just peeved that there aren't enough wealth ladened western tourists to overpay Tuk Tuk drivers and so they're all hassling me.. meanwhile, I call the Maldives to try and book some acommodation, and one person says "2007 or 2008?" and another THREE hotels 'politely request me to call back in 10 minutes as the reservation line is full'. Surely, the millions and billions of dollars lost in foreign exchange and jobs and livelihoods is worth more than a hilly piece of dirt?
ENOUGH ALREADY!
Alright alright. It's after 5pm on Friday and I am still at work belting out jibberish. So I'm just going to post a few photos (some from this week, some from Europe that didn't make it before).
This is New Years Day in London.. proof that I did see the happy couple Joel and Katie on their honeymoon (while the girl on the second left is Katie, the honeymooning Katie is the one holding the camera - you think you're confused? I went to uni with them!)
Driving along, and what do we see? Oh yeah look, there's Stonehenge. The one on the right? Nelson.
Boxing Day 2006, and Embo and I are off to see (Wigan Ath)Latics play against Manchester United at Old Trafford in front of a HUGE 76,000 people. Awesome. And the best part? They have massive hot dogs!
Roooney ya fat bastard.. make a run to the box!
This is what old trafford looks like at capacity!
There's nothing better than telling a story through the art of hotdog pornography... the footlong hotdog will always have its place as long as KY Jelly and Ansell are still in business .
After stuffing a big twelve incher down ya gob, there's nothing more masculine than being on site with oversized Tonka Trucks! Bigger Bigger! Flatter Flatter! WE NEED MORE COMPACING SCOTTY! FASTER Pathamananthanana Wickramamasingh!
Nimal is a dude. I spend a lot of time in the car from site to site, and Nimal is my #1 Driver. After six months, he has finally stopped asking me about the price of things in Australia followed by a shock "Shahh!". He is also the most informed Sri Lankan on Aboriginal rights... as skewed as that might be.
Okay, so on the weekend I attended a meeting with a commnuity we are constructing a potable water supply system.. The meeting was in Sinhala and my normal translator was sick with Chickungunya (Yes, that's the name of a real disease.. kind of like Dengue but not deadly, and the name means "Bends over" in Swahili, because when you get it you are in such pain you bend over). So while everyone else chatted about important things that I rarely got the insight into, I decided to go to the playground and hang out with some kiddies. Nothing tells a story better than a) a crying baby or b) a smiling mini adult.
And another thing....
Peace, Love, and F#$%ING B@!$#$%*T STATISTICS!
B.
posted by Byron&Emma at 9:47 PM
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