The best thing one can do when it raining is to let it rain.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow had bastards for parents, as surely as it rains in Sri Lanka he got beaten up at school for a name like that. But he did provide the aforementioned quote that I name this blog entry after. When it's raining, theres nothing you can do but let it rain - and that is even moreso the case in Sri Lanka, for when it rains it may not stop for some time. Embo and I decided to get out on the Australia Day long weekend, and headed inland to a little place called Dambulla. Just outside of that skanky town is a beautiful resort called Kandalama, designed by a famous Sri Lankan architect Jeffrey Bawa. To put it in perspective, he's Donna D'Cruz's favourite architect. I don't know who she is either, but that's not the point. He is fantastic at blending the surrounding environment into the designs of the hotel... and Kandalama is his best. It's 1km long, 7 stories tall, and barely noticeable hidden within the rocky hills behind, the forest in between, and on the the Kandalama lake/weir. Trees grow within the hotel, monkeys walk along the balconys scarying unsuspecting Emma's, and the infinity pool trails off so it appears it is part of the lake. If you're ever in SL, definately make sure you spend a night of luxury in Kandalama..

As mentioned though, unfortunately, it rained rained and rained some more. Our plans to climb Sigiriya? Washed away. Our plans, ahem, my plans to go birdwatching and walking through the forest? Rained out. But where there's rain, there's a rainbow.. and Emma and I did play a heck of a lot of ping pong, and abused the buffet as bad as the jacuzzi.

This is what our view looked like.. often we would sit on those chairs and have monkeys walk along the barrier. They weren't exactly nice little monkeys, they wanted to seek revenge on us for taking over their oasis:


Here's the tacky entrance to Dambulla caves, a holy site for buddhists or something or rather. they claim that's the biggest buddha in the world, but there are like 6 bigger in Sri Lanka. It was donated not too long ago by the Japanese:

Inside the five caves is pretty cool.. lots of frescos and statues, some are over 700 years old or something:
Outside the caves, the monkeys are getting jiggy withit doggy style (feel free to include monkey style in your repportoir boys, sounds more animalistic!):The thinking monkey, "How am I going to seek revenge on Emma.....":

You thought I didn't take any bird photos., yeah? yeah, right! There was this one morning where it stopped raining for a couple of hours and I jetted outside.. unfortunately, it started raining shortly after and I ran back squeeling like a baby, "My camera, my new camera, god dam you gods of rain!". This is a funky funky dude with electric eyes I spotted while pondering on a rock, the Ceylon Paradise Flycatcher:


This dude was haunting me, but I finally got close enough to the Common Iora to get a quick snap - even if the bushes were in the way:


Up above were Brahminy Kites flying all around. Due to the grey skies, hard to get the brown and white of the bird to stand out.. so I messed around with the photo on Adobe and this is what I came up with. I kinda think its cool... whatchyareckon?
These dudes were everywhere. No, its not that time of the month, it is a Red-vented Bulbul eating a jungle rodent:

Here's another R-V Bb taking a dip:

My little friends, the Little Green Bee Eater hanging about.
After all that birding and twitching, it was back to work. And although I don't have a PhD so I can't technically be a "Doctor", it didn't stop me from scrubbing up on Monday to check out some cataract removal operations at the Colombo Eye Hospital. The PJ's were a little bit small for me; I think I might need to consider donating some smocks as part of my next project.
Welp, that is all from me my ardent readers. Tune in next time for some more racially and gender insensitive comments.

Peace, Love, and Scrubbers,

B.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Carmen Sandiego is a fictional criminal in a computer game that I used to play lots at school. You would have to solve the clues and try and track her down. Yes, mum, that's where your school fees went.. in to buying high tech computer equipment that essentially made board games playable in an anti-social climate with "funky" graphics - VGA baby! Well, Carmen Sandiego reminds me of my blog.. I have this funky new tracker where I can now spy on all you people who spy on my writings. Well, while my instincts that suggested to me people come, check out the photos, and leave have been verified (I know you only stay for an average of 18 seconds, you fickle ADHD procrastinators!) - but what I did find interesting was the array of countries where you come from.. Singapore to Senegal, Sri Lanka to Australia (well they are obvious), UK to US / Canada (whatever), Japan to Korea (south, North have officially banned me), Poland, India, and others.. It turns out that I use a lot of keywords people are searching (generally for porn, and think my blog has free photos of girl on girl, missionary, anal, and headjobs). But what possesses some of you to actually read this dribble? Beyond me..

Anyway. On the weekend Embo and myself were supposed to climb up a mountain for hours and hours only to watch a sunrise. Welp, bugger that. We decided to drive to Sinharaja forest instead and go for a leisurely walk in a sub-tropical / primary rainforest a couple of hours south east of Colombo, with two mates Ian and Caroline. Anyhoot. It was an excellent walk. Unfortunately, Byron is a doosch and did a Joel - yes, I had a slight accident in the work vehicle, three times. Each time I hit the left mirror into a bus pulling over (not far enough obviously!). By the end of the trip, the mirror was broken and there were some scratches.. at least I didn't kill any motorcyclist.. but there's always next weekend!

Here's a picture of us happy go lucky group atop of Sinharaja forest...

While we were there, we did see this FANTASTIC bird. I reckon it has to be one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. This is the endandgered endemic Sri Lanka Blue Magpie.
The one on the left supports Collingwood.... (not the English cricketer, who even his mum has decided should be dropped):

Taking off because he saw my ugly mug?

Nesting Sri Lanka Blue Magpie
These little tackers fly extremely quick, so I was quite lucky for one to stay still long enough for me to get a happy snap. The Yellow Browed Bulbul:

I've shown you bee eaters before, well there are three types that look very similar. The one you saw before from Yala has a range closer to the ground, the Blue Tailed Bee Eater sits atop the canopy:

These little fishy were in all the muddy rivers.. I didn't like my photo so thought I would accentuate the colours and see what happens. The blue is the shimmer atop the water, and the red is the dirt at the bottom, and the yellow are my little fishy.. Cool or Drool?
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. Aint he so cute you just want to dip him in batter and deep fry him? Mmmmm..
Waaay too many spiders for my liking.. but I do like the web.
Unfortunately, walking through any forest has its risks. And in Sinharaja, the risk is leeches (allegedly killed more British colonialists in the 1800s than any other piece of nature bar mosquitos). Welp, i had two, the one on the two got really frigging big. Their anti collagulants mean your feet don't stop bleeding... even after like 4 tissues!

Welp, after being attacked by leeches, attacking busses, it was still an awesome weekend! Thankfully, this weekend is Australia Day Long Weekend, so will head off somewhere else with hopefully some more photos then! Have a great Aussie Day, wear your flag with pride at the BDO, and start riots in protest of not being able to riot or protest at music festivals.

Peace, Love, and Oh So Blue Birds,

B.

Forget the chicken darling, it's turkey hunting season!

Gone are the days when classic sayings like those were part of the average Jo Blow's lexicon.. now we rely on watching Homer Simpson go kung-fu master in snake whacking season. Ahh, to be canadian with a little c would be Grande with a big G. But I have a gripe to air. And it's to do with war, tourism, and silly telephone operators.

WARNING: If you don't like longwinded stories with no plot or ending, then skip this and just go look at the photos.. or delete this page from your bookmarks as it's doubtful it will ever improve.

For those humanitarian workers in Sri Lanka, I'm sure you have seen that there is a noticable decline in the number of tourists - on any given weekend, you can attend your favourite beach resort and not have the "traumas" of other people invading your space. No families with kids running around. No grandparents remembering the time of when they were the colonial masters. And rarely any backpackers - maybe the odd few that have been living in Ashrams in India for six months or more and have not read any newspaper to realise that heck, there's a war going on. Despite all of the noticeable differences in tourist numbers from this year to last, the official statistics show that tourism is up 10,000 odd people from 2005 to total 550,000 in 2006. But somehow, someone forgot to tell the tourist operators this. Or the bastards in the hotels are lying to me and trying to screw me for more money.. either way. So what went wrong with the numbers?

Well, this is not a political statement as much as an econometric exercise. You see, 2005 sucked for tourism because a huge wave came and thwacked the place in 2004, right? So poor baseline information. Tsk Tsk. And are the 2006 tourists REALLY tourists? Of course not. Most of them are Indian rebel fighters claiming to be tourists while secretly trying to reclaim the motherland while the other half are 'volunteers' in the North and East that can't get working permits...

So what's my point? I don't know if I have one or ever did.. I'm just peeved that there aren't enough wealth ladened western tourists to overpay Tuk Tuk drivers and so they're all hassling me.. meanwhile, I call the Maldives to try and book some acommodation, and one person says "2007 or 2008?" and another THREE hotels 'politely request me to call back in 10 minutes as the reservation line is full'. Surely, the millions and billions of dollars lost in foreign exchange and jobs and livelihoods is worth more than a hilly piece of dirt?


ENOUGH ALREADY!

Alright alright. It's after 5pm on Friday and I am still at work belting out jibberish. So I'm just going to post a few photos (some from this week, some from Europe that didn't make it before).
This is New Years Day in London.. proof that I did see the happy couple Joel and Katie on their honeymoon (while the girl on the second left is Katie, the honeymooning Katie is the one holding the camera - you think you're confused? I went to uni with them!)

Driving along, and what do we see? Oh yeah look, there's Stonehenge. The one on the right? Nelson.

Boxing Day 2006, and Embo and I are off to see (Wigan Ath)Latics play against Manchester United at Old Trafford in front of a HUGE 76,000 people. Awesome. And the best part? They have massive hot dogs!


Roooney ya fat bastard.. make a run to the box! This is what old trafford looks like at capacity!

There's nothing better than telling a story through the art of hotdog pornography... the footlong hotdog will always have its place as long as KY Jelly and Ansell are still in business .
After stuffing a big twelve incher down ya gob, there's nothing more masculine than being on site with oversized Tonka Trucks! Bigger Bigger! Flatter Flatter! WE NEED MORE COMPACING SCOTTY! FASTER Pathamananthanana Wickramamasingh!

Nimal is a dude. I spend a lot of time in the car from site to site, and Nimal is my #1 Driver. After six months, he has finally stopped asking me about the price of things in Australia followed by a shock "Shahh!". He is also the most informed Sri Lankan on Aboriginal rights... as skewed as that might be.
Okay, so on the weekend I attended a meeting with a commnuity we are constructing a potable water supply system.. The meeting was in Sinhala and my normal translator was sick with Chickungunya (Yes, that's the name of a real disease.. kind of like Dengue but not deadly, and the name means "Bends over" in Swahili, because when you get it you are in such pain you bend over). So while everyone else chatted about important things that I rarely got the insight into, I decided to go to the playground and hang out with some kiddies. Nothing tells a story better than a) a crying baby or b) a smiling mini adult.



And another thing....



















Peace, Love, and F#$%ING B@!$#$%*T STATISTICS!

B.

Rendezvous in Paris? Well, how about Northern England instead...

Wow, what an absoloute gut wrenching couple of weeks. I think I am about to explode. Emma and I have managed to spend two weeks travelling around Europe (England, Wales and Italy), basically eating and drinking our way around between family, friends, and random romans. It's been a fantastic Christmas and New Year holiday!

I will let the photos do the talking.. because I am still jet lagged.

After we arrived in London, we went straight to Wigan (via Oxford) and caught up with Granny. She's doing bloody well for her age, kicking on and still ready to have a go at anyone at the ripe old age of 94. Go Grans.



After a chrissy with the fam, we had to go see the sights of Wigan. An hour and one photo later, we were done:

P.S. The story goes Wigan Pier is where coal moved between Manchester and Liverpool, made famous by some dude called Orwell who wrote a book about the Road to Wigan Pier. Oh yeah, and Uncle Joe makes mint balls there and they sell them in airports. Famous.

En route to everywhere we went, Embo and I spent most of our time staying in pubs, eating breakfast in pubs, drinking pints with our lunch at pubs, and eating dinner at pubs. By the end, Emma was sick of the pubs and I was socially enebriated for a long enough time that I was willing to move on too.. here is one of the many pubs we ate and drank at (awesome food here):

Here's the smallest house in Britain. It's so small, it shouldn't even be on the map.


In Northern Wales, we went to an absoloutely gorgeous little town called Conwy (pr. Conway). It is a walled city (as in, there is a castle and walls around the city). Good ol' King Edward I built the castle after he smashed the Welsh in 1280ish, and it was for British settlers. To this day, any Welshman caught in the gates after 7pm can legally be shot. At the George and Dragon pub we stayed at, John said it should also include Australian convicts.


Wales is also in the World Rally Championship circuis, which I have on my PsP. I thought these roads looked cool, so I tried a bit of rallying too.. until Emma told off and I almost made her carsick.. almost.

Anglesea in northern Wales is also famous for its beaches.. I don't know why: their cold, they're made from rock and not sand, and the sunset occurs at about lunchtime.
Driving along, we gate crahsed into this castle which looked pretty cool.. but it was closed (thus the gate crashing bit)


After the smallest house in Britain, we went to Wells the smallest city in Britain. 10,000 people + 1 cathedral. This is just outside of Westbury sub Mendip where Bill lives in the Somerset shire. It was a really cool area of England in the South, where they make cider.. so we drank that at the pub while being served by a beautiful polish bartender. Oh, and this was the market emma and I went to:



Emma and I then proceeded to London for New Years party at Zhera's place. was really awesome. Someone had the great idea of passing the time before midnight by playing games (I voted for more beer). Game 1: Let's see if we can pick up a cereal box from the floor without touching the ground with our knees or hands, and when everyone does that, you rip some of the box off...,
After about this level, it got quite inappropriate to take more photos in low cut tops and dresses. Hmm.. Bob was actually the champion, able to pick up a quarter with his teeth. Almost.. game 2: Of course, it's 7 Famous People. I refuse to explain the rules in case others out there may start playing too.. this Emma getting right into it!
And here's bob getting in to it... he also cleaned.


And from the window, we watched the fireworks over london. Woo.
Then after a day of rest in London with Joel - trying to get over a hangover.. Emma and I went over to Rome. ahh beautiful. We found more food during the day (by golly dam those Italians can cook.. oh la la, gelato!)


And I thought I would kill a few romans .. I never liked aquaducts anyway..

And by night, we travelled around the steets looking at Tevoli fountaions and the such..
And of course, we popped in for some Eggs Bennedict XVI at the Vatican (he was actually there giving communion the day we were there, so it was friggin packed full of nuns and stuff.. took us like 3 hours to get to the Cupola, which I later found out was a dome in the big cross shaped building). Here's emma in front of a Mozaic.



The end.

For all those who I haven't contacted yet - everyone that is as I haven't done season greetings this year - Happy Hanukkah, Eid Mubarak, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Silly Season Greetings, and Ahoy Aethiests. As a good Indian friend said to me the other day, may your tears of 2007 be joyous and you learn from your failures.

Oh, now it's The end.